GP Care · Elderly Health · Practical Caregiving
A GP appointment lasts, on average, around nine to ten minutes in the UK. For an elderly parent with a few ongoing concerns, that isn't very long.
And most of the time that gets wasted isn't in the consulting room — it's in the weeks before, when nobody wrote anything down, and the ten minutes after, when the GP said something important that nobody quite caught.
A little preparation makes a disproportionate difference. Not a lot of preparation — just the right kind. This guide covers what to bring, what to say, and how to make sure the things that matter actually get said.
This sounds obvious, but most people don't do it, and it makes a real difference. Write down everything your parent wants to raise before the appointment, then decide together which one or two things matter most.
The reason for the ranking matters as much as the list itself. GP appointments often fill up faster than expected, and a good GP will work through whatever you raise in order of urgency. If your parent starts with something minor and runs out of time before mentioning the falls, or the confusion, or the symptom they've been quietly worried about — that's a problem that a list with a clear first priority would have prevented.
Write the list the day before, not in the waiting room. Waiting rooms are anxious places, and it's hard to think clearly in one.
All of them. Not just the ones prescribed by this GP — everything. Prescription medicines, over-the-counter tablets, vitamins, supplements. The dose, the frequency, and ideally who prescribed what and why.
This matters because GPs don't always have a complete picture of everything a patient is taking, particularly if some medications came from a hospital discharge, a specialist, or a different practice. Drug interactions and cumulative effects are one of the most common — and most preventable — sources of problems in older patients. A clear list on a piece of paper is more reliable than trying to remember everything in the room.
Many pharmacies will print an up-to-date dispensing record if you ask. It's worth doing this rather than relying on memory.
For each concern on the list, try to note: when it started, how often it happens, whether it's getting better or worse, and what makes it better or worse. These four things — onset, frequency, trajectory, triggers — give a GP the framework they need to think clinically about what they're hearing.
“I've been tired.”
“I've been much more tired than usual since about February — I'm struggling to finish my usual walk, and I've been needing to rest after lunch, which I never used to do.”
If your parent finds this hard to put together themselves, do it as a conversation rather than a form to fill in. “So when did you first notice that?” and “Would you say it's been getting worse?” are questions, not an interrogation.
Hospital discharge summaries, outpatient letters, recent blood test results — bring them all. GP practices receive a lot of correspondence and things sometimes get missed. Having the physical letter in the room is more reliable than assuming it arrived and was filed correctly.
Not just physical symptoms. Mood, appetite, memory, sleep, how much your parent is going out, whether they're managing their usual tasks. These things don't always feel like medical information, but they often are. A GP who knows that your mum has stopped cooking for herself and isn't seeing her friends is working with a much richer picture than one who only hears “my knee is sore.”
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Say the most important thing first
Not at the end. It's a natural instinct to ease into a difficult conversation, but in a ten-minute appointment, leading with the most significant concern means it gets the time it deserves. Something like: “The main thing I'd like to talk about today is the three falls Mum has had in the past month — but I've also written down a few other things in case there's time.” That opening gives the GP clear direction, signals there's a list, and makes the time structure obvious without being demanding.
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Write down what the GP says
Bring a small notebook or use a phone for notes. People — of all ages — retain a fraction of what they hear in a medical consultation, and the retention gets lower when the information is technical or worrying. Writing down the GP's main points, any new medications, and what to do next means your parent doesn't have to rely on memory alone. If you're there as well, you can be the one taking notes while your parent talks.
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Ask if anything is unclear
“Can you explain that again in plain language?” and “What does that mean for day-to-day life?” are perfectly reasonable questions. GPs are used to them. The appointment isn't over until your parent understands what was said.
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Confirm the next steps before leaving
Before leaving the room: “So what are we doing next — is there a referral, a follow-up appointment, a test to book?” This is the question that prevents things from falling through the cracks. A referral that nobody explicitly confirmed is one that might not happen.
If you're attending together — a quick note on how to be helpful
Coming along to an appointment is almost always welcome and often genuinely useful. A few things that make it work better: let your parent speak first, add to what they say rather than correcting them, and save your own observations for when the GP asks or when there's a natural opening. The appointment is about your parent — your role is to support it, not to lead it.
It's worth asking at the start: “Is it alright if I stay?” even though the answer is almost always yes. It gives your parent the sense of agency, which matters.
If there wasn't enough time
This happens. GP appointments are short, and sometimes the list doesn't get covered.
You can book a follow-up specifically for the remaining concerns — it's fine to call the surgery and say “Mum had an appointment last week but didn't get to everything, can we book another?” You can also send a message through NHS App or Patient Access (if the practice uses these) to ask a question between appointments. Some practices offer telephone or online consultations for straightforward queries that don't need a face-to-face slot.
The important thing is not to let uncovered concerns quietly disappear. Write them down again, and make sure they're at the top of the list for next time.
How Hea helps — before and after the appointment
The hardest part of preparing for a GP appointment is often just remembering how things have actually been. “I've felt a bit off” is a description of right now, not of the past three months. And three months is usually what matters.
Hea checks in with your parent each morning through WhatsApp — a short, friendly question about how they're feeling, their sleep, their energy, whether they've taken their medications. Over several weeks, those daily answers build into a real picture: the days the back pain was worse, the week the appetite dipped, the morning they mentioned feeling breathless.
Before and after the appointment
Before the GP appointment, Hea puts together a summary of recent symptoms and how your parent has been — in their own words, with the patterns visible. You can bring this to the appointment or share it with the GP beforehand. It turns “I've been a bit tired lately” into “here's what tired has actually looked like, day by day, for the past month.”
After the appointment, you can see whether anything changes — whether a new medication seems to be helping, whether the sleep improves, whether the symptom that was worrying you settles or doesn't.
Hea isn't a medical tool and it won't interpret what any of this means clinically. But it gives your parent — and their GP — something concrete to work with, rather than impressions and guesses.
Turn "I've been a bit tired lately" into a real record
Hea checks in each morning through WhatsApp and builds a week-by-week picture of mood, sleep, energy and medications — ready to bring to the next appointment.
See how Hea worksQuestions worth asking at any GP appointment
Not all of these will apply every time, but they're worth having somewhere accessible:
- “Is everything on this medication list still necessary?”
- “Could any of my symptoms be related to something I'm taking?”
- “Is there anything I should be watching for between now and the next appointment?”
- “When should I come back, and what would be a reason to come sooner?”
- “Is a referral to a specialist something that would help here?”
- “Are there any NHS services or community support that might be relevant?”
- “Would a structured medication review be useful?” — worth asking if your parent is on five or more regular medications; see our guide to medication management for elderly parents.
Frequently asked questions
Can I go with my elderly parent to a GP appointment?
Yes, and it's usually welcomed. Let the GP know you're there as a family supporter, and let your parent lead the conversation where possible. Your presence means someone can take notes, remember what was said, and add observations the patient might not have thought to mention.
What if my parent doesn't want me in the room?
Respect that. You can still help with the preparation beforehand — the list, the medication record, the symptom notes — and debrief afterwards. A well-prepared patient who goes in alone is still far better placed than an unprepared one.
Can I contact the GP separately to share my observations?
Yes. You can call the practice or write a message through NHS App to share what you've noticed, even without your parent's prior knowledge. The GP cannot share your parent's medical information with you without consent, but they can receive what you tell them and factor it in.
What if the appointment doesn't cover everything?
Book another one specifically for the remaining items. Mention this when you call: “There were things we didn't get to last time.” It's a normal and legitimate reason to book.
Sources
- Salisbury H, The 10-minute appointment, BMJ, 2019 — bmj.com/content/365/bmj.l2389
- BMJ Open, Great expectations? GPs' estimations of time required to deliver BMJ's “10 minute consultations” (2024) — pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10900324
- BMA, Safe working in general practice: appointments — bma.org.uk/advice-and-support/gp-practices/managing-workload
- NHS, NHS App — nhsapp.service.nhs.uk
